Letter · 7 June 49 BC · in portu Caietano nave conscensa

Ad Familiares 14.7

Ad Familiares 14.7

Headnote

Cicero to his wife Terentia and daughter Tullia, written aboard ship in the harbour at Caieta on the seventh day before the Ides of June 49 BC (the manuscript dateline: Scr. in portu Caietano nave conscensa vii Id. Iun. a. 705 (49)). After more than four months of paralysed indecision in his Formian villa — weighing his consular dignity, his obligation to Pompey, his promises to Caesar, his terror for his family — Cicero has at last embarked. The ship is in the harbour; the line is about to be cast off; he is sailing to join Pompey’s camp in Epirus. He will not see Italy again for almost a year, and the war he is sailing into will be lost.

The letter is short, and almost giddy with the relief of decision. The four months of agony, he declares, were bile: in the night he brought up chol\=en akraton, “pure bile,” and the moment the body purged itself the soul cleared too. Give thanks to Apollo and Aesculapius. The ship is good; he will write to friends from on board commending Terentia and Tullia to them; he need not urge them to courage, knowing them braver than any man; he expects in time to defend the commonwealth alongside men of his own kind. The closing instructions are practical to the point of domesticity — mind your health, withdraw to country houses well away from troops, the Arpinum estate will carry the town household if grain prices rise, our little Cicero sends his love. Then a doubled farewell, and the date. He has not yet sailed; he is writing between the decision and the wind.

All those troubles and anxieties, by which I kept you in the deepest misery — this being what most distressed me — and our little Tullia too, who is dearer to us than our own life, I have set down and thrown off. What had caused them I came to understand the day after I parted from you. In the night I brought up pure bile cholēn akraton; at once I felt such relief that it seemed to me some god had done the healing. To that god, then, please give thanks as you are accustomed to do, with piety and with purity — I mean to Apollo and to Aesculapius.
omnis molestias et sollicitudines quibus et te miserrimam habui, id quod mihi molestissimum est, et Tulliolam, quae nobis nostra vita dulcior est, deposui et eieci. quid causae autem fuerit postridie intellexi quam a vobis discessi. xolh a)/kraton noctu eieci; statim ita sum levatus, ut mihi deus aliquis medicinam fecisse videatur; cui quidem tu deo, quem ad modum soles, pie et caste satis facies id est Apollini et Aesculapio.
The ship I trust we have is a very good one. The moment I came aboard her, I wrote these lines. Next I shall write a great many letters to our friends, in which I shall commend you and our little Tullia to them most earnestly. I would urge you to keep your spirits up, were it not that I know you already braver than any man. And yet I trust that things stand so that I may hope you are where it is most convenient for you to be, and that I shall in time, together with men of our own kind, defend the commonwealth.
navem spero nos valde bonam habere. in eam simul atque conscendi, haec scripsi. deinde conscribam ad nostros familiaris multas epistulas, quibus te et Tulliolam nostram diligentissime commendabo. cohortarer vos quo animo fortiores essetis, nisi vos fortiores cognossem quam quemquam virum. et tamen eius modi spero negotia esse, ut et vos istic commodissime sperem esse et me aliquando cum similibus nostri rem p. defensuros.
Do you, above all, take care of your health; then, if you think best, use those country houses that will be furthest from the soldiers. The Arpinum estate you can use comfortably with the town household, if grain grows dearer. Our charming little Cicero sends you his warmest greetings. Once again, and again, farewell. Despatched on the seventh day before the Ides of June.
tu primum valetudinem tuam velim cures; deinde, si tibi videbitur, villis iis utere quae longissime aberunt a militibus. fundo Arpinati bene poteris uti cum familia urbana, si annona carior fuerit. Cicero bellissimus tibi salutem plurimam dicit. etiam atque etiam vale. D. Vii. Idus Iun.

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Ad Familiares 14.7

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