Two letters followed, both given on the day before the Kalends, which have shaken me from my former position — already, as I wrote you above, tottering. Nor do I find any weight in your saying that he is
unjust even to Jove himself. For the danger lies in the wrath of each of them; the victory, however, is so uncertain that the worse cause seems to me the better-prepared. Nor do the consuls move me; they themselves are moved more easily than a feather or a leaf. The deliberation over duty tortures me, and has been torturing me up to now. Staying is certainly the safer course; crossing is judged the more honourable. I would sometimes rather have many men think I had acted incautiously than a few think I had acted dishonourably. As for
what you ask about Lepidus and Tullus — they have no doubt at all that they will be on hand for Caesar and
will come into the Senate. Your most recent letter was given on the Kalends, in which you wish for a meeting and do not despair of peace. But I, while writing these things, was thinking that they would neither meet, nor, if they had met,
would Pompey come round to any terms. As for what you seem not to doubt — that if the consuls cross over, we know what we must do — certainly they are crossing, or, as things stand now, have crossed. But remember that,
with the exception of Appius, there is hardly anyone who has not the right of crossing. For either they are vested with imperium — like Pompey,
like Scipio,
Sufenas,
Fannius,
Voconius,
Sestius, the consuls themselves, to whom by ancestral custom it is permitted to enter all the provinces — or they are their legates. But I am deciding nothing; what is pleasing to you, and what is in some manner right, I understand. I should write more, if I could myself. But, as it seems to me, I shall be able to in two days. A copy of the
letter of Cornelius Balbus, which I received on the same day as yours, I have sent on to you, that you might grieve on my behalf, when you saw me being made a laughingstock.
secutae sunt duae pr. Kal. ambae datae quae me convellerunt de pristino statu iam tamen, ut ante ad te scripsi, labantem. nec me movet quod scribis
Iovi ipsi iniquum. nam periculum in utriusque iracundia positum est, victoria autem ita incerta ut deterior causa paratior mihi esse videatur. nec me consules movent qui ipsi pluma aut folio facilius moventur. offici me deliberatio cruciat cruciavitque adhuc. cautior certe est mansio, honestior existimatur traiectio. malo interdum multi me non caute quam pauci non honeste fecisse existiment.
de Lepido et Tullo quod quaeris, illi vero non dubitant quin Caesari praesto futuri
in senatumque venturi sint recentissima tua est epistula Kal. data, in qua optas congressum pacemque non desperas. sed ego cum haec scribebam, nec illos congressuros nec, si congressi essent,
Pompeium ad ullam condicionem accessurum putabam. quod videris non dubitare, si consules transeant, quid nos facere oporteat, certe transeunt vel, quo modo nunc est, transierunt. sed memento
praeter Appium neminem esse fere qui non ius habeat transeundi. nam aut cum imperio sunt ut Pompeius,
ut Scipio,
Sufenas,
Fannius,
Voconius,
Sestius, ipsi consules quibus more maiorum concessum est vel omnis adire provincias, aut legati sunt eorum. sed nihil decerno; quid placeat tibi et quid prope modum rectum sit intellego. plura scriberem, si ipse possem. sed, ut mihi videor, potero biduo.
Balbi Corneli litterarum exemplum quas eodem die accepi quo tuas misi ad te, ut meam vicem doleres, cum me derideri videres.