Letter · 15 March 45 BC · Asturae

Ad Atticum 12.20

Ad Atticum 12.20

Headnote

Cicero to Atticus, written from Astura on the Ides of March 709 AUC — 15 March 45 BC (the manuscript dateline: Scr.\ Asturae Id.\ Mart.\ a.\ 709 (45)). The shortest letter of the cluster, written the day after 12.19. Atticus had evidently passed on advice that Cicero ought to dissemble the depth of his mourning; Cicero answers that whole days spent in reading and writing are themselves the dissembling, even if his real purpose is to soothe and heal his own mind, and even if the headway he makes with himself is slight.

The second section is the practical counterpart to that work. He wants two pieces of prosopographical information for the book he has been writing on the lessening of grief (almost certainly the lost Consolatio): did Gnaeus Caepio perish at sea while his father was still living, or after his father’s death? Did Rutilia die before or after her son Gaius Cotta? The arrangement of the question — two near-identical binary inquiries, drawn from the same generation of consular families — shows the kind of exempla-collection that lies behind the lost treatise.

You do not yet seem to see how little either Antonius moves me, or anything else of that sort could move me from now on. About Terentia I have written to you in the letter I sent off yesterday. As for your urging me — and your writing that the rest also ask it — to dissemble my grieving so heavily: can I do so more than when I spend whole days in literature? Even if I do this not for the sake of dissembling but rather to soothe and heal my mind, still, if I make less headway with myself, I am at least doing enough for the pretence.
nondum videris perspicere quam me nec Antonius commovent nec quicquam iam eius modi possit commovere. de Terentia autem scripsi ad te eis litteris quas dederam pridie. quod me hortaris idque a ceteris desiderari scribis ut dissimulem me tam graviter dolere, possumne magis quam quom totos dies consumo in litteris? quod etsi non dissimulationis sed potius leniendi et sanandi animi causa facio, tamen si mihi minus proficio simulationi certe facio satis.
I have written less to you because I was awaiting your letter in answer to the one I sent off yesterday. I was awaiting it chiefly about the shrine, and somewhat also about Terentia. I should like you, in your next letter, to make me sure of the following: Gnaeus Caepio, the father of Servilia the wife of Claudius, did he perish in shipwreck while his own father was still living, or after he was dead? And likewise Rutilia: did she die while her son Gaius Cotta was still living, or after his death? They have a bearing on the book I have written on the lessening of grief.
minus multa ad te scripsi, quod exspectabam tuas litteras ad eas quas pridie dederam. exspectabam autem maxime de fano, non nihil etiam de Terentia. velim me facias certiorem proximis litteris Cn. Caepio Serviliae Claudi pater vivone patre suo naufragio perierit an mortuo, item Rutilia vivone C. Cotta filio suo mortua sit an mortuo. pertinent ad eum librum quem de luctu minuendo scripsimus.

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Ad Atticum 12.20

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