My eye-inflammation was more troublesome to me even than it had been before. Still, I preferred to dictate this letter rather than give Gallus Fadius — who is devoted to us both — nothing in writing to take to you. For only the day before, just as I could, I had myself written that other letter, whose prophecy I want to be false. The reason for this letter, however, is not only that no day may pass without my sending you a letter, but this further and more pressing reason: that I should obtain from you that you take a little time — the matter is brief — to lay out your counsel plainly for me, so that I may understand it through and through.

mihi molestior lippitudo erat etiam quam ante fuerat. dictare tamen hanc epistulam malui quam Gallo Fadio amantissimo utriusque nostrum nihil ad te litterarum dare. nam pridie quidem, quoquo modo potueram, scripseram ipse eas litteras quarum vaticinationem falsam esse cupio. huius autem epistulae non solum ea causa est ut ne quis a me dies intermittatur quin dem ad te litteras sed etiam haec iustior, ut a te impetrarem ut sumeres aliquid temporis †quod tibi et quia† perexiguo opus est, explicari mihi tuum consilium plane volo, ut penitus intellegam.

All my options are still open; nothing has been let slip that does not have a sound excuse, not merely a respectable one. For certainly I did no wrong then, when — Capua already having been put in my charge — I declined to accept the charge, escaping not only the imputation of cowardice but also the suspicion of bad faith; nor when, after the terms of peace had been brought through Lucius Caesar and Lucius Fabatus, I took care not to offend the man on whom Pompey was already, with arms in his own hand, conferring the consulship and the triumph of a fellow under arms.

omnia sunt integra nobis; nihil praetermissum est quod non habeat sapientem excusationem, non modo probabilem. nam certe neque tum peccavi cum imperatam iam Capuam non solum ignaviae delictum sed etiam perfidiae suspicionem fugiens accipere nolui, neque cum post condiciones pacis per L. Caesarem et L. Fabatum adlatas cavi ne animum eius offenderem cui Pompeius iam armatus armato consulatum triumphumque deferret.

Nor, indeed, can anyone justly find fault with this latest matter — that I did not cross the sea. For though it was a matter open to deliberation, still I could not have brought myself to face it. Nor was I bound to suspect what was coming, especially since, from Pompey’s own letter, I had no doubt — and I see you too thought the same — that he would come to Domitius’s aid; and I preferred to spend a little longer thinking what was the right course, and what I had to do.

nec vero haec extrema quisquam potest iure reprehendere quod mare non transierim. id enim, etsi erat deliberationis, tamen obire non potui. neque enim suspicari debui, praesertim cum ex ipsius Pompei litteris, idem quod video te existimasse, non dubitarim quin is Domitio subventurus esset, et plane quid rectum et quid faciendum mihi esset diutius cogitare malui.

First, then, however these matters seem to you, though you have given signs of it, I should like you to write me out in more careful detail; then to look out also a little for what is to come, and to shape the part I should fittingly play, and where you sense I can be of most use to the commonwealth — whether some role of peacemaker is in demand, or whether everything calls for the man of war.

primum igitur, haec qualia tibi esse videantur, etsi significata sunt a te, tamen accuratius mihi perscribas velim, deinde aliquid etiam in posterum prospicias fingasque quem me esse deceat et ubi me plurimum prodesse rei publicae sentias, ecquae pacifica persona desideretur an in bellatore sint omnia.

And though I measure all things by duty, still I recall your counsels; had I obeyed them, I should not have undergone the bitterness of those times. I remember what you then urged on me through Theophanes and through Culleo, and have often called it to mind with a groan. So now at least let us go back to those calculations which we then threw aside, and use counsels not only honourable but a little more wholesome too. But I prescribe nothing: I should like you to write your view to me carefully in full.

atque ego qui omnia officio metior recordor tamen tua consilia; quibus si paruissem, tristitiam illorum temporum non subissem. memini quid mihi tum suaseris per Theophanem, per Culleonem, idque saepe ingemiscens sum recordatus. qua re nunc saltem ad illos calculos revertamur quos tum abiecimus, ut non solum gloriosis consiliis utamur sed etiam paulo salubrioribus. sed nihil praescribo accurate velim perscribas tuam ad me sententiam.

I want you also to find out, as carefully as you can (and you will have people through whom you can do it), what our Lentulus is doing, what Domitius is doing, what he means to do, how the two of them now bear themselves, whether they accuse anyone, whether they are angry at anyone — what am I saying, at anyone? at Pompey. Pompey, certainly, puts the whole blame on Domitius, as can be known from his own letter, a copy of which I have sent you. These things, then, you will see to; and, as I wrote to you before, the book of Demetrius of Magnesia on concord which he sent you — I should like you to send it to me.

volo etiam exquiras quam diligentissime poteris (habebis autem per quos possis) quid Lentulus noster, quid Domitius agat, quid acturus sit, quem ad modum nunc se gerant, num quem accusent, num quoi suscenseant—quid dico num quoi? num Pompeio. omnino culpam omnem Pompeius in Domitium confert, quod ipsius litteris cognosci potest quarum exemplum ad te misi. haec igitur videbis et, quod ad te ante scripsi, Demetri Magnetis librum quem ad te misit de concordia velim mihi mittas.

C icero by Claude

Ad Atticum 8.12

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